Saad Gul
Discrimination and inequalities are built into the structure of human existence. Most around us suffer in some sense, in our own ways; whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a business failure, break up or lacking meaning in life. But not every one admits to the problems he or she faces. Most people pretend that life is supposed to be a perpetually positive and happy experience – specially on social media where persona and happiness is on steroids. This is a lie, an illusion that masks the reality.
And the reality is that fears, insecurities, inadequacies, emotional scars and imperfections can be found in every human being. We are unique because of them. Yet most human beings would pretend to be perfect examples of happiness, perfection and fulfilment.
Why so?
Probably because we live in a culture that stigmatizes grief, pain and loss. No one is allowed to have a down moment. It’s like the elephant in the room nobody likes to talk about.
This nevertheless doesn’t mean that we don’t have potential because we’re born with imperfections. We are, on the contrary, actually full of potential. If we can truthfully stare at our weaknesses and accept them for what they are – which is an extremely painful and difficult process – we can start working on becoming stronger, wiser and better versions of ourselves in a world full of complexities and hardships. We have been arranged – wiling or unwillingly – into hierarchies for over a quarter of a million years. The quality of life at the bottom of the hierarchical pyramid is low on all metrics. Illness strikes mercilessly. Resources – and the quality thereof – are limited.
Those within the top 1% have access to most of the planet’s wealth and the finest resources of the planet. Additionally, these top affluent people – mostly corrupt forces, malevolent predators, evil bullies and tyrannical victimisers – are all around us. They prey on the weak, incapable, incompetent and helpless.
This inequity in resource distribution fuels frustration among the voiceless and the weak – leading to various levels of depression. Many would have valid reasons to feel anxious or depressed or frustrated.
Feeling unhappy and experiencing emotional or psychological pain, therefore, is inevitable. Even normal perhaps. But there is another side to the coin. The less painful and more meaningful part of life. It’s almost as if sadness exists to teach us the value of happiness. It is like if pain didn’t exist, would we even know what is or isn’t pleasure? There seems to be a covalence about these things.
Why, then, most humans tend to constantly compare their own lives to strangers on their social media feeds? Pretending that life is just about happiness and positivity when these things are fleeting in nature? There seems to be a dissonance of sorts.
Although deep down everyone is aware of the fact that social comparison is unhealthy and that life is hard, yet we crave for things that come only after fulfilling responsibilities and delaying gratification; we want rewards without putting in effort. This is a sacrificial idea; you forego something valuable now to obtain something more valuable in the future. It’s almost like a bargain with time itself.
That begs the question, can our challenges disappear completely? Most likely not. But is it possible to reduce them? Perhaps yes. How, you may ask?
Well, the answer is: by becoming more responsible, wiser and stronger. That seems more realistic. It seems like a good proposition because if we can be disciplined in honing our potential to become the best version of ourselves, we could be a more optimistic force in the lives of those around us. Ultimately, we could even positively impact community.
Wired to grow and evolve as a species, we need to connect to our higher selves. We are responsible for investing in growing our physicality, emotionality, and spirituality. Doing this consistently over a long timeline can reduce some of the pain and the suffering we are born into while simultaneously unlocking rewards of compound interest. We could progress against our own progress and self-defined metrics instead of indulging in social comparison. It doesn’t matter where we stand right now but we could start today to work towards optimal health, fulfilling relationships, financial prosperity, thriving careers as well as psychological and emotional fortitude.
This may sound difficult but is more sustainable. Is this an antidote to the chaotic forces we’re surrounded by? Probably yes! Structure can emerge from within the disorder, suggesting that maybe the pain and unhappiness aren’t meaningless, after all. Maybe all our inherent imperfections are meant to make us truthfully look at them with the goal of improving.
And improvement is not impossible because humans are the most resilient and target-oriented species on the planet – made for growth and evolution. Our ancestors bounced back from unimaginable plagues, catastrophes, wars, and natural disasters for thousands of years. How did they do it? Did they have any secret red pills? No, they did not. They found meaning in the grind, responsibility, consistency and wisdom. They seemed to accept that life is difficult but being consistent, disciplined and courageous could mitigate that – thus improving the quality of life. They chose to act, progress and grow despite the hardship. They seemed to accept that there is no triumph without toil.
The unmistakable moral that we can draw from the discourse above is that humans embody infinite potential and desire to grow.
Although being born with potential is no feat, yet deploying this potential for an objective definitely is.
