Motherhood is sacred yet it becomes challenging for mothers in Pakistan, as it carries enormous burdens of societal expectations and undue pressure from the family.
One of the most significant pressures faced by mothers is the expectation to have male children. In many parts of South Asia, male children are considered crucial to carrying on the family lineage. As a result, mothers are often subjected to immense pressure by their families to have male children, and in some cases, this pressure can even lead to gender-based violence. Women are often divorced, or subjected to violence upon knowing the gender of the baby. In 2017, 345 girl bodies were found in Islamabad yet no one has highlighted the issue or arrested the criminals yet.
“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” – Tina Fey
A mother’s body goes through drastic changes after the birth of a child, most women are deprived of post-partum care and no emphasis is given to the mental health of the mother. People in Pakistan are still unaware of post-partum depression and new mother is left to cope with it alone. Moreover, the nutritional needs of the mother are also not met resulting in complications and a serious decline in health later on.
In addition to the pressure to have male children, mothers are also expected to be the primary caregiver for their children. This expectation has been normalised by our society – categorising it as gender roles. While mothers take care of the entire household and their child’s needs, men mostly consider earning as their sole responsibility in raising their children. Ultimately putting pressure on women.
“Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.” – Maria Shriver
Women are often expected to sacrifice their careers or interests to fulfil their responsibilities. Mothers who are unable to meet the demands of their children or choose to pursue other interests can experience guilt and shame. Especially in a society where there are no support structures for new mothers like childcare or flexible work hours, it becomes difficult for mothers to manage both. Women are often fired upon knowing that they are expecting to avoid giving paid maternity leaves by their employers.
Moreover, mothers are often expected to conform to traditional societal norms, which can include everything from the way they dress and behave to the foods they prepare for their families. This pressure can be especially difficult for mothers who may have more progressive views or who may want to pursue a different lifestyle.
The pressures faced by mothers can take a significant toll on their mental and physical health. It is essential to address these issues and create a supportive environment for mothers, ensuring that they can lead fulfilling lives. Mothers should be allowed to make choices and decisions without facing shame or guilt, and society should recognize and value the critical role of mothers in shaping the future generation.
