Saad Gul
Do you have a big dream inside of you waiting to be brought to life? Or maybe it’s just a smaller goal that old habits, belief systems or relationships are preventing you from achieving? Is it because of these conditions that you just can’t seem to make progress?
Well, don’t worry. You probably are not alone. Chances are that everyone around you is having the same thoughts, challenges, fears, insecurities and doubts. It is very common to give up even on things that may be important to you but you find hard to pursue? I used to do it all the time.
Some people have learnt to accept, manage and overcome these adversities better than others through conscious thought, consistent practice and deliberate action.
It is a process to start seeing your dream in reality the way you have imagined it. This is what success looks like; your daily grinds and habits are seeds that plant for success. No way around it. As the saying goes: Success is 85% inner game. This first step is like planting the seed.
There is no red pill. There is no shortcut. Having studied many elite performers and billionaires, if I were to break it down into actionable steps, it would look something like this.
First, you should intrinsically want to be better. A genuine and burning desire to be better because humans were not put on this earth for comfort and pleasure alone. Our forefathers made sacrifices for millennia to make sure we get to this point. We owe it to our kids and their future generations to keep the human race going by acting responsibly. You have to take total responsibility for this one i.e. practice it daily.
Secondly, gain clarity on what it is that you want before committing to it. Unless you are clear on your goal you may soon feel discouraged and overtaken by a sense of failure. It’s like a ship in the sea without a captain or a compass. Direction, therefore, is absolutely necessary. Know what you’re aiming at. This is important because specially on days that you don’t feel motivated, perhaps sick. Or easily get dissuaded when you run into some sort of cumbersome conflict that requires you to stand up for yourself or involves negotiation, you are prone to give up easily because you’re not clear yourself on what you want.
So try out different things for a 12-24 months period consistently and eventually you will know what gives you energy. Don’t leave things to chance .
Thirdly, be confident. Success is 85% inner game. Know that since you have your ‘why’ figured out (step 1) and you are clear about what you’re committing to (step 2), you will find a way. If there is no path that was created by someone else, you will forge a new path. Be comfortable with this thought.
Don’t let your past projects, failures, setbacks, inconsistencies, and doubts poison your thoughts and your new resolve: Just because you couldn’t get it done in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish it in the future. Maybe you committed to something that didn’t interest you so you didn’t want it badly enough. Or it could be something that you really wanted to commit to but just didn’t have the right plan of action, strategy, tools, tactics, team, relationships, finances or insufficient information. Additionally you could have been previously focused on quick results in the short term.
There could be a number of reasons why something didn’t previously work out for you. Have the confidence and chronic optimism to believe you will do it! This step has to be repeated consciously throughout the day for weeks and months. This is the daily watering and nurturing of the seed you planted in step 1. So be radically open-minded and fully believe this time that you will do whatever it takes to get what you want. You’re half way there if you believe you can! When you believe in your dream, the chances are that other people will do as well.
Fourth, get started. Starting is the hardest part. When you have audacious goals, they might scare you so much that you remain stuck in analysis paralysis. Therefore, don’t wait for the right time because it will never arrive. Timing is everything. Start small. Repeat the small tasks daily that align with your long term vision. When you start getting comfortable with accurately hitting small goals, you can start stacking little victories.
Then, incrementally increase the difficulty level of your goal. Something that is achievable but a little harder than the previous threshold. Keep incrementally increasing the difficulty level and as soon as you hit it, increase the difficulty again. Do this long enough and the compound effect will kick in to lift you up.
For instance, if you want to be a writer, start writing 10 words a day. Do this for a week every day and then increase that number to 20. The idea is to develop and then stick with the habit until it becomes automatic.
If you want to be financially disciplined, save 5% of your pay check consistently for three months. Then after three months raise that number to 10% and follow that for a few months. This routine will create new neural pathways in the brain which will give you the confidence that doing this with consistency will eventually get you there – you’re not there just yet.
Lastly, don’t give up when results are not evident or things get tough. Success is boring. You have to consistently show up every day with the same energy, mindset and chronic optimism. The difference between people who live their dreams and those who don’t, is that many quit before it’s even possible. Success is a game of determination. It’s a marathon. It is an endurance match and only a few will hang in there till the end.
Know that when it seems like you are out of rope, out of energy, out of money, out of hope; there is still something you can do to go a little further. When you run out, it doesn’t mean stop. It means, get creative and make a way!
So instead of changing your goal, change your strategy, change your plan, change the way you approached it the previous time. My favourite example is that of Thomas Edison, who failed 9,999 times before he actually succeeded at creating the light bulb. There is more to be learnt from failure than from success.
Saad Gul
Research Fellow
Center for Research and Security Studies (CRSS)
14-M, Ali Plaza, Second Floor,
F-8 Markaz, Islamabad
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