Aliya Naseer Farooq
Making new year’s resolutions was a big thing in my day. There was a whole culture of buying new year’s diaries and filling the first page with new years’ resolutions. That whole diary writing has come to be passe. In this digital age of the communication explosion, the here and now is of prime importance. Looking back, most of my diaries had the same litany of resolves repeated year after year. There were the mandatory spiritual vows followed by the physical improvement ones. To lose weight, walk regularly and exercise on the weekends…. It went on for a good ten years and then stopped. Guess, life happened!
Marriage, husband, in laws, children. My whole life seemed to revolve around them. Then there were household chores, guests, sibling weddings, responsibilities and ‘answeribilities’. Somehow, two decades were gone – just like that.
Now, I find myself at a unique juncture in life. Things that I had diligently prayed for decades ago have actually come to pass. Many a times, we tend to forget how hard we prayed for certain things which now form a beautiful part of our reality. Health, happiness, homes, children, careers, success, love and friends. The list of blessings is endless! The essence of the matter is to look around with love. With love in your heart, forgiveness becomes easier. Forgiveness leads to forgetting. I have a hard time remembering the names and faces of the people who have at some point in my life purposefully and intentionally hurt me. Age has its benefits and forgetting is one of these. Fill your heart with so much love that hate can find no space to breathe. You know what makes it is easier to love; let me remind you – letting go of the ego! It takes strength to do so. Ego has a powerful muscle and can exert its force to shape your thoughts and choices. Make your love stronger than your ego. Nurture love, practice love and strengthen love. Your ego will slowly begin to shrivel and crumble.
Honesty and forthrightness help in one’s journey towards clarity. When we do not set unrealistic standards for ourselves but set honestly realistic goals, that gives our egos a blow and brings them down. Deflate the ego. Inflate your self esteem. Self esteem does not need to be reciprocal with the loads of laundry you did, the number of desserts you prepared or the amount of compliments you received. Rise, rise above the physical, the here and the now: You are more than that. Nurture and replenish your heart, your mind, your soul.
Abandoning and slowly surrendering the need for control will help you take better charge of your inner serenity. Bring the noise down, lower the volume and shun the din, trim the un essential and focus on the real, the core, the heart.
Once the noise of outside voices is turned down you can begin to hear your own voice. You may not recognise it at first. It has been ages since you last heard it. Listen to it, let it talk even if it seems like nonsense and gibberish. Let it talk, engage it in conversation. Smile at yourself even if you don’t really recognise or like what you see. Let your true self grow without self-censorship, acute criticism and learned responses.
‘I hate my hair !’, or ‘ I have a horrible voice !’. You do not have bad hair or a bad voice. You have your hair and your voice and you must love yourself before others do. Actually, there will come a point in time when it will cease to matter. You will be in love with the more peaceful, more accepting, more thankful version of yourself and external appreciation and applause will only be little plus in the wake of your wonderful journey. Just another smile, another moment of gratitude.
Wishing you a blissful 2020.
May our hearts be full of gratitude and our homes shine with the soft glow of love.
Aameen.
