Aliya Naseer Farooq
Happiness is a fleeting, fluttering fascination. An elusive, evasive effervescence. Ecstasy for some; meditation for others. I asked a few friends about their take on happiness. Their answers were diverse. ‘Serenity’, one said, ‘ like the velvety night strung with stars.’ ‘Serendipity,’ said the second one, ‘ as if your whole being was illuminated by a million sparks!’ ‘ ‘Satisfaction..’, said another, ‘ turquoise blue ocean wave that washes over me, cleansing all the confusion and then breaks on the shores of my being.’
Happiness is the most sought after, yet, the most unwinnable of human pursuits.
The image I have for happiness is that beautiful butterfly – magnificently coloured – orange, red, pink. Its flutters onto a flower right beside me and perches there. Frozen in time. I can watch it and absorb its three-dimensional splendour in amazement. Or I can stoop down and hold it delicately between thumb and forefinger. I have an impulse to do that; except just then I realise that firstly, up close, it is, after all an insect. Yup. Not very fond of insects. Secondly, as soon as I pinch my fingers on its delicate wings, it will flutter in order to escape. Leaving a powdery imprint of it’s pretty colours on my thumb and forefinger. Most probably breaking its wing in the struggle. I would have killed it in my frenzy to hold it in my hand. To have and to possess. This analogy rings true on so many levels. Happiness, when seen from afar is ever so impressive.
My neighbours’ backyard seems heavenly from my bedroom window. The green grass, the elegant gazebo twinkling with fairy lights and the ceramic mushrooms and goblins appear to be picture perfect. If I go for the same look in my yard, firstly, it would not bring me that satisfaction as even at its best it will be an imitation. I will find flaws with the quality of the gazebo, the tackiness of the ceramic decorations. The goblin’s sour expression reminding me of a relation I do not want to be reminded of, at all
We cannot copy happiness. We must create it.
Ideally, I would like to create my happiness on an all paid trip to a caribbean island. In a five star luxury resort with those neon blue slushies with frost rimmed glasses. I would like to lie on a striped chair on the beach front, complete with the black and white umbrella on top and that huge velvety red towel (the one you always yearn for but never really find) . So close to the ocean, you can hear the waves lapping softly on the white sands. Scintillating samba echoing in the background. Panoramic views of colourful sunsets, leisure and peace… Yes. That’s my definition of happiness, if anyone was to ask. Not that anyone has or is likely to ask, ever…!
That is quite besides the point, for me being me, I am not going to lie in a corner to sulk till this dream comes true or fades quietly into the background. I am not that person. What I am most likely to do is give this dream the moment that it deserves and then get up, take a bath, make tea and step out into the wild, overgrown leafy jungle that my front lawn has become. Crunching the fallen Maple leaves under my feet. I sit there on the good chair, ( other three having time worn issues), with my tea mug and be happy. This is my ‘ happy’ for that day in that moment.I could also visit a friend and laugh like a mad woman on the most nonsensical stuff and come back home. Happy! That is my ‘happy’. Just get an idea and write a few lines. To see the ‘ghattaa’ brewing up in the grey cauldrons of the skies and smell the earth after the rain, yes, I know it’s called petrichor… Just seems too pretentious a word for so earthy a smell.
Holding hands, a genuine smile, that eye contact, a prayer that rises up from the innermost sanctum of one’s being and floats up into the vastness of the universe . These are my ‘happy’ and the reasons why I feel it is only up to you. You alone can make or mar the happiness in and around you.
