Aliya Naseer Farooq
‘ Charity begins at home’, is an adage I grew up with. My mother was fond of this one and would toss it in after a lecture on generosity or other matters. When it comes to forgiveness, we must remember that forgiveness is a step towards healing and release. We carry the weight of grudges, misconduct, heartbreak, mistreatment upon our shoulders and in our heart.
Let’s begin 2020 with a process of thorough and deep cleansing. Cleansing the heart, soul and mind. I am pretty confident that this exercise would, in turn, reflect in other spheres of your lives. You will see the light shine upon dark corners and musty corridors of your life. Be it work-related, emotional or others.
Carrying extra baggage is the first obstacle in the way of our physical and spiritual well being. The minimalists have discovered this amazing secret to happiness and are reaping its benefits. For us mere mortals, however, it seems a daunting thought and a near insurmountable task. Going minimalist seems extreme but still one can learn from all practices of goodness and well being. My take on this no fuss philosophy is that we can all use more space in today’s hassled, claustrophobic world.
Space for essentials in our wardrobes, space for the positive and beneficial in our minds, as well as space for healing, contentment and peace in our hearts. This space may only be created by letting go – a hard yet achievable goal. What do you say? Let’s give it a chance. Let’s clear away the old, useless clutter and make space for fresh, relevant items. Let’s leave the past behind and move towards greener pastures.
Being bogged down by memories of bygone hurts, pain and trauma, not only consumes the energy we can channelize towards our future but also drains us emotionally and spiritually. Be thankful that it’s gone! Whatever it was… hurtful partner, unappreciative employers, back biting co workers… the list is endless.
Write out the negatives, write down, clear it off and burn it!There… Let it fly away. These are the ashes of yesterday. They have no place in your today. Keep a few momentos. The friend who made you laugh, the unexpected kindness, the offer of help when you were bogged down with work. Collect these wisely. Keep only those memories that bring a smile to your face. Collect these like you pick flowers from a garden, carefully and tenderly to make a sweet bouquet. Now, put that in your freshly uncluttered space and let its fragrance sweeten your day.
While you are on this delightful journey of self discovery, please do not neglect self forgiveness.
You must forgive yourself. That is key ! Forgive yourself for past mistakes, foolish choices, poor decisions or wild behaviour. Forgive and forget. Distance yourself from those members of your clan who insist on remembering only that; they are not part of your brighter, sweeter present. If they are not clapping for you then they are not your circle !
‘You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them’
Maya Angelou
Do not allow anyone to challenge your self respect or to invade your personal space. I see mature adult women, women who are high achievers by any standards, reduced to quaking, unsure little girls by the scathing criticism of certain significant people in their lives. Be it in-laws, neighbours, even friends – do not allow it. You are not your sixteen or twenty six year old self any longer. No one should try to reduce your achievements. You have come a long way. Tears, aches, pains, hurts, smiles, laughs and love. They have all made you what you are today.
‘It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself to forgive. Forgive everybody.’
Maya Angelou
Forgive yourself if you are not satisfied with what you are today. Forgive and then work your way towards a better, more content ‘ you ‘. You owe it to yourself. Raise your standard by bringing yourself up and you’ll breathe easier. Appreciate your journey. Be happy for yourself. You lived through all of it and now you must celebrate. Celebrate yourself, smile at yourself and keep moving on.
Bon Voyage
