Neelab Khan
I wish I could sit at least one person down every day and explain the importance of harnessing emotions, myself included of course. Because the toxicity that is normalized and perpetuated by using the ‘too emotional’ card is beyond my tolerance personally. This is not even a personality trait; rather it is something we all have and struggle with, something our environments and nurture heavily influence. This is no ground-breaking revelation, but just the fact that I felt the need to state it is quite telling of how we have lost track of even the basics of being human.
Toxicity is frustrating, to say the least. While some choose to make an active effort and not let others bear the brunt of what they themselves are going through, others find it completely normal, even justified, to act out on how they are feeling, irrespective of the consequences their actions entail.
We’re all human and falter; there is obviously no guarantee for completely rational behaviour, I agree. All of us have been through many experiences that sometimes shape and result in unwarranted behaviour. But behaviour is dependent on mental attitudes, which is why each individual must at least take enough responsibility to have some control over their emotions, rather than the emotions controlling them. With the prevailing mind-set, we are disregarding established principles of psychology, morality and society.
I have absolutely nothing against emotion as a whole; it is what makes us human. In fact, raw self-expression is one of the most appealing things one may come across. However, in these times, society being a collection of more ideologies than ever before, drawing a line has become harder than ever before, with increasing subjectivity and uncertainty exacerbating the situation.
There is another half that makes us human as well: the ability to reason, which we conveniently choose to ignore because this half requires way more effort to act on. It is about time we wake up and focus on our purpose as human beings. We are not here to simply fulfil our desires. We’re here to grow, to be better people, each and every day for ourselves and everyone around us. A life which is emotionally stagnant is a purposeless one.
With the importance of mind-set and attitude already highlighted, this issue can be dealt with easily by working on the beliefs we have been conditioned to harbour. Whenever one might be overwhelmed with any sort of emotion, be it guilt, anger, jealousy, excitement or pure joy, one should ask themselves just a simple “why?” Why as to the way they’re feeling and why it is justified for them to base their actions on it. While this requires a constant and lifelong effort of introspection, it isn’t impossible. We easily undermine our strength as human beings when we dismiss the possibility of emotions being superseded by reason. Another way we can work on this is through responsible consumption of media. It is a major part in shaping our mind-set which has been over-exploited and damaging, done in the guise of ‘art’ and ‘self-expression’. Erratic and unstable behaviours are continuously glorified and romanticized through ‘relatable’ characters often leaving an imprint on our sub-conscious and conscious behaviours. Responsible consumption implies that if movies and art are a passion for somebody, the least we can do is constantly reflect on the morality of all that is being shown to us. Also being more selective about the type of content we expose ourselves to may prove helpful in utilizing art to enhance our lives, rather than being overwhelmed and adversely affected.
As the blurred nature of these lines continue to grow, especially in this postmodern era of countless narratives and high subjectivity, I would highly recommend sticking to the very basics of good and bad behavior: that harming someone and yourself is bad. A good, simple way to start over. In our hedonistic pursuits, we have put aside the very basic trait that distinguishes us from other species: the power of reason. And this is why, in my opinion, humanity stands where it is today.
After completing my Master’s (MA) in International Relations, I am now pursuing further studies. Though my discipline is quite vast in itself, I aim to contribute to the research domain by applying other dynamic and holistic lenses to various social and political tropes. While research-based objective work is primarily what I have experience with, matters of more subjectivity and individual value interest me as well.
